Rambling

I can't believe it is Wednesday already! How the days, weeks, months, and even years fly by! I remember when I was little it seemed that the years lasted so long. It always seemed like Christmas was further and further away each year. Now that I am older, and married, the years flash by in a blink of an eye. It makes me consider what is truly important in life. I am 26 and as I was trying to fall asleep last night, I kept thinking to myself that I am not getting any younger but at the same time I don't think I am ready for a child all my own. I get whims occasionally where I really want to see what Dustin and I can create together. I start imagining going out with my little girl and shopping like I always do with my mom. I still love to hang out with my mommy. (Yes, I still call her mommy...is that a crime????) She is one of my best friends now. And I think that is so cool. But then I start thinking of everything that it takes to care for a child and I get overwhelmed. All my friends have children and I love their kids. All of them. But I see certain things they have to go through and put up with and I thank God that I don't have to deal with that yet. I ask Him if I will ever be ready, if I will ever be mature enough and responsible enough to take care of a child, or children. What a mess... My mom was an awesome mother. I only hope I can at least be as great as she was and still is...

Speaking of my momma, she is supposed to be coming for a visit in September but I think that is going to be postponed now. Just a month probably. My uncles wanted Dustin to put together a deep sea fishing trip for them so he does. But apparently, it costs a lot more to go deep sea fishing in the Atlantic than it does in the Gulf. So, they have backed out, and needless to say, I am rather disappointed. I had been working on accommodations, dining out, and things to do in the Charleston area..which if you live here, know that there is a ton to do. I have lived here for 4 years now and I still haven't done even close to everything that is offered here. Part of the problem is, Dustin and I both seem to have a hard time making decisions. We always want the other to decide so they will be happy and that eventually leads to a crazy cycle. But I believe now, though we still tend to go back to old habits, we are learning how to avoid the crazy cycles because we can see them coming and we just veer off that path. (Wow...that WAS a bunny trail). So now that the deep sea fishing trip is off, all of my investigations are for naught. My daddy really needs to get his tail down here too. He hasn't been here once since I moved here. I wonder if he is avoiding the issue that I am all grown up and have a home of my own...married. What do you do?

Breathe.

Man, this blog thing is fun! Now, I really don't know who would want to read this, but it really helped to unload my mind. Very fulfilling and relaxing. I didn't know I had so much to say. Even if it is just rambling...

Later gators! (You know, we really do have to watch out for those here...there is no way I am water skiing in any of their rivers or lakes here...too many gators. I am afraid they would find me as yummy as the state bird of SC does...you know, the mosquito. Yikes!!!)